Understanding children’s reactions

Children can be just as affected by an SCI as the rest of the family:

• • They will need support, understanding and reassurance in order to cope and adjust to changes in the future.
  • Their anxieties could be about an anticipated change of roles within the family, moving home, changing schools or making new friends if the injured relative is unable to continue living in the old family home.

“I felt a bit embarrassed by my mother’s disability when I was between 11 and 12 years old, but it soon passed and I changed to being proud. I have always felt protective of my mum and this has increased as we have both got older.”

How do children feel and react when a parent is injured?  What helps them cope?

• • Children are all different and how they react depends on many factors, such as their personality, how old they are and what they understand about what has happened.

Not all children react badly when a parent is injured:

• • However, unlike adults, when children are upset or worried they don’t always talk about it, so it is important to look for clues in their behaviour.
  • Children’s reactions and behaviours are not always easy to handle, especially when you are yourself under stress. 
  • It helps to remember that the things children do (good and bad!) are usually their attempt to cope with a problem – even if this does sometimes cause problems for other people. 
  • However difficult the behaviours and feelings, children need to know that they will be listened to and helped.